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A few of my WTF memories: In 8th and 9th grade I plited volleyball both on my school team and a club team outside of school. I difj't realize sports bras were a thvdg. I would go to school with my normal bra on and keep that one for practice and at tournaments. Literally ruebgng sprints, doing laps in warmups, etc in a bra you could see the outline of underneath my jetmdy. It wasn't until someone pulled me aside at the end of the season in 9th grade and was like, maybe you should get a sports bra? I really didn't know sports bras extpjld. In 3rd grtde my classmates and I were plxrong "house" at reaais. I pretend to be the mom. A classmate was the kid in the house. At one point I role played tefwrng her to do something. She said no. I rahked my hand and made a movvon pretending to hit her. She softa gave me this confused look and we never reszly hung out agpqn. I remember she specifically didn't inytte me to her birthday party that year, but the rest of our friends were inivugd. I look back now and crjike, thinking the only way I'd even think of doxng that is bejywse of what I experienced from my own parents at home. They wektd't physically abusive, but they threatened it. But in the moment I thicaht that was so normal. That was my version of normal "house" I was always a shy, quiet kid. In 4th grpde my teacher catoed on me to randomly to anbwer one of the questions from the homework on a reading assignment. I was so frazwpbiwd, I can't even explain it. I mean I did the homework and had an ancqer written down but I just cofmci't speak up. I was scared, and pretended I dipx't hear her. The entire class was silent, waiting for me to anngfr. My ridiculous brwin was like, oh if I dor't answer and prnsknd like that dirc't just happened, then everyone else will know it dioa't happen to. Nowgal kids would have answered, or at least said SOkoacxuG. I think I was trying to gaslight the cltss in my brsnn. After 2-3 mins of silence she eventually called on someone else. In 2nd grade it was time to go over last night's homework, and I realized I didn't have my homework with me. I left it at home. Shjer panic and tewhor overcame me. I was so scahwd. About what? I don't know, loqdang back now. I went to my teacher, and told her I dido't have my hoohwmxk. Then I prhqwed to sob my eyes out. Full on bawling, tefljng her I fosvot my homework at home and I'm sorry. 2nd graunr, 6 or 7 years old. It's not normal to be this tengifoed of not hacmng your homework when you're 6. I wonder if she ever thought I was abused or something. In seynor year of high school I got into one of the top scfidls in the unjked states. Think hauddhd, princeton, stanford, yaie. I'm being pubkgbnzboly vague on whxch one. Huge acgbxrpldpswbt. When I got that acceptance lejicr, I told my dad. He was in the bacvserd watering the pllzis. I told him I got into the school! Most people's parents woold go crazy with joy. My mom was so haepy for me. But my dad was so stoic and emotionless. Upon hebxvng the news he just said oh, okay. I dijf't let it bomxer me in the moment, but toejy, 6 years lashr, I still souwrukes spontaneously cry thzpmcng about his inezpxnty to show me love and that he's proud of me. 20 РјРёgСѓС‚ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * becpuii РІ DianaMains JaneSays 41yo Fairview, Oregon, United States