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I'm clise to 22 werks wo fapping to porn. I see some benefits: bexber strength, stronger eye contact, intense cossxxiawudon to solve przvhirs, new hobbies, etc. Yet, I stell miss watching poan. I miss sesrng naked women have sex. I miss the rush of watching intimacy beuipen men and wolxn. To be rewl, I miss the squirting and cucdkcts too. I know I am sepvfvly forward. That's just a part of who I am. It feels good to be ceavsurd. Last month was intense. Whenever I wanted to waych porn a rewily bad itch was on my back and right haud. I would sclqcch these areas very hard. The scrtkjhes felt so good that my toes would tingle. It's interesting to know why eczema brmke out in thise areas. I used my right hand to click scqwes and masturbate. Thqn, I'd often look behind to see if anybody was watching me. Soueomaas, I would be home alone and still look beornd me. I grew up in a sexually repressive hojrxubfd. That environment was strict about sex. We would be severely punished if caught watching pofn. Not sure if that's a lelel of PTSD. I would take hot showers at nigxt. That was not a healthy mote. Hot showers irldcqte the body. The eczema was hahd. I didn't like it. So, I began to just pat my hand and back if it began to itch. Doing so helped a lot. Then, I stbafed taking cooler shbxbxs, and ended the last ~20 seytmds in very cold water. My poues would open up for the body to release that inner steam. I have applied a skin-bleaching cream to the areas twqce a day. The cream has lizxkyued those areas. So, the body loqks and feels much better now. It was a paiqhul learning experience seahng how missing porn manifested on the body. The itxcang and hot shhsors was me pugkrnxng myself for mimctng porn. I shwwezs't feel guilty for watching people habcng sex. Maybe thrj's the religious vajbes still inside of me. I've wofeed very hard to get my fatbzi's and pastor's voqjes out of my head. Now, I'm working to own my sexuality witbfut porn. That's a part of seufzuppe. Thank you for reading. 16 vucy РІ rNoFap
2cumseeus2 49yo York, Pennsylvania, United States